The camel controversy
continues to dominate the Online Register news for a second week
(see related articles). It is apparent that the
argument that started a week ago in Chamoun's Rest Haven
Restaurant will not pass away without some determinate contest. The
preliminary outlines of a race have already been thrown down: From the
parking lot of the Rest Haven in Clarksdale, Mississippi to the lobby of the
Peabody Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee. A racing committee is being formed
to lay out the ground rules.
Internet lines have been smoking with
votes and comments coming in from around the world. (Please
enter your vote in the opinion poll below.)
Money Luckett has e-mailed again in defense of last weeks
unintentional multiple votes. She claims the camel issue is a great concern to
her for environmental reasons. Addicted to the Discovery Channel, Money has
learned a great deal about global warming and the ozone layer and worries about
the environmental effects of importing camels into the Mississippi Delta.
Jay Mullens had
gotten her a new computer and showed her how to use spreadsheets. She has been
crunching numbers all week, concluding that any amount of camel increase in this
part of the country will raise the methane levels to doomsday proportions. As to
her multiple votes she writes, "I just voted extra for all those who
couldn't "walk a mile for a camel."
From New York State the
engineering firm of A.L. Blades & Sons followed up the research of Jerry Salley and
observations of equipment salesman Bill Gates
(see part 2). Mr. Chris Blades, vice president of
the firm, faxed the following computations to the Register's office: "Mr.
Gates is correct that horses have four legs. Akabah (Chifik Chamoun) is also
correct that camels have four legs. The difference is that a horse has a leg at
each corner and that settles the question as to which is faster." It should
be noted that the Blades' evaluation and logic are based upon years of
experience in meeting the specifications of the NYS Highway Department under the
imperial management of Mario Cuomo.
Locally at the Khan on 61 debate
sustains momentum. Maxine Palmer, 1996 Woman of Achievement
(Clarksdale-Coahoma County Business and Professional Women's Club) was having
dinner with her husband Grady Wednesday night when she found herself embroiled
in the discord. As a member of the American Legion Auxiliary she remarked that
that patriotic organization was often confused with the French Foreign Legion,
or that other group that has circuses and wears fez's. But her greater concern
was whether women were being represented fairly in the camel/horse opinion poll.
State BPW president, Cyndi Simpson claimed "54 million
women did not vote" yet (Clarksdale Press Register, Oct. 24).
The
gentlemen at the table declined to follow that argument. Instead,
Grady Palmer, Clarksdale ambassador to Norway, volunteered to open an
embassy in Oman for the City and went to the phone to call Mayor Espy to see
what his travel arrangements were for the next year.
Friday morning
Billy Strohm
phoned the offices of the Online Register to present his position. Mr. Strohm is
a staunch supporter of horses being a regular competitor in cutting horse
competition around the nation. He also is a genuine cowboy with real cows. He
was outraged that he wasn't consulted first about this issue. The problem is
that he was banned from the Rest Haven a year ago. As a practical joke, he
turned the "9" on the outdoor sign over to make it a "6."
The sign read, "Steak Dinner $6.95," instead of $9.95. Suffering
extreme financial loss throughout the day, Chifik abruptly booted him out the
door when he realized what had been done. Since then he has had to drink his
coffee round a campfire where the "deer and the antelope play" (no
experience with camels, however).
The Preacher
hasn't been heard from since Friday morning. With Sunday drawing nigh, he
withdrew into seclusion to gather his thoughts and bathe himself in prayer.
Chafik claims he looked over the Preacher's shoulder Friday
and saw him studying the text, "I saw heaven opened, and behold a white
horse...and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty
God" (Rev. 19:11,15).
"I dunn know,"
he muttered as he wagged his head. "Them folks gonna need some steel-toed
boots this Sunday."
To be continued...
